


Skin

by tomodachi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, But never confronted, Eren and Reader are good friends, Eren as a 19 year old, Eren changed, Eren fights for reader, Eren protects reader, F/M, Manga Spoilers till Chapter 117, Spoilers, both love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18631855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomodachi/pseuds/tomodachi
Summary: He was too focused on changing and saving the world that he forgot what mattered most in that world--her.





	Skin

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS
> 
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIHMT5jE8n0

_When I heard that sound_

_When the walls came down_

_I was thinking about you_

“Eren,”

A gulp.

“You can’t be serious.”

He knew it, though a long-time friend, she would not understand. The brunette pursed his chapped lips, deciding he would not explain any further. She notices the blaze in his turquoise pools die down, and her heart dropped knowing she lost him.

How can a mere civilian understand the weight of his destiny as Humanity’s Hope?

How would she understand his hope for the future?

…a future with her in it?

“I am.”

Her lips trembles and the hand holding his upper arm dropped to her side.

 (E/c) orbs gaze up into his blank ones, the eerie moonlight morphing his eyes into a darker green. The wind sways his dark locks that were halfway down his neck. She asked for him to cut it and keep it short, but he insists that there was no time. Now the way they brushed across his tanned cheeks while he remained completely still weighs her down more, realizing she really did lose him.

“For how long?” she whispers, pertaining to his proposed plan of migrating to Marley. There was evident pain in her voice yet she tried to hide it. What right did she have to keep him anyway?

He was never meant to be bound in the first place. He never was in the same world and destiny as she was.

She understood that—and she hated herself for feeling more than their friendship that blossomed five years ago.

Eren ‘hm-ed’ shrugging his shoulders that had grown broad through the years. Deeply, he felt the same melancholy, but dared not show it as it will be harder for him to depart.

“So, this is goodbye then…”

His calm façade broke a bit at the realization, his voice gets caught up in his throat, but he manages to mumble flatly, “Could be.”

He took her hands in his calloused ones, squeezing them tightly, letting her feel what words could not be said.

“Trust me and don’t let anyone know,” he requested in a low yet urgent voice.

She nods, squeezing his fingers back. He was reckless and dangerous, but she trusted him,

“I promise.”

Her (e/c) orbs scanned the skin of his hands, running her thumb gently across his bite scars and cuts from transforming throughout the years. Eren Jaeger was untamed, and headstrong, she would never hold him down or be selfish to keep him, to ask him to run away, sail somewhere, be another person, and start fresh.

He presses a long, gentle kiss by her temple.

 “Take care till then, (Name).”

The way her name was mumbled by her ear, she could not stop the brimming of her tears. She gazes up at him once more, smile sincere but her eyes were sad as the streams flowed.

“You too, Titan-boy.”

and she said goodbye.

_When my skin grows old_

_When my breath runs cold_

_I'll be thinking about you_

It was never meant to be.

Humanity’s Hope, the greatest weapon, and a rogue titan, Eren Jaeger for a merchant’s daughter,  and the pure hearted, (Full Name).

But as he grasps Reiner’s calloused digits in his bloodied palm that night in Mareley, all he thought about was her.

“I think we were…born this way,” Eren mutters under the dimly lit cellar.

_And I despise my birth._

It had always been a constant question to him. If he were born with a different fate, to a different family…

_Could I be with her?_

“I just keep moving forward,”

He thinks of what he could do for her now, with this power to change the gears of their present worlds. It didn’t matter whether he had to put his life on the line for it… for the world, and her in it.

Reiner draws back a bit, confused at the firming grip. Eren gazes at the sparks that crackled from their palms, all the while thinking of her, and only her. It was his fuel for strength to press on. As the bright flashes speckles of amber, gold, and white across his emerald eyes, he saw her. He saw her tears while she mourned her father who was crushed by the Armored Titan in Trost. He could feel how she shook so much in his arms, asking him for answers, why did a good man, her only living family die?

_You never deserved it._

“I just keep moving forward until my enemies are destroyed,” Eren finishes, the sparks turning into an explosion before Marley crumbles around him, and he releases a deafening roar.

_When I run out of air to breathe_

_It's your ghost I see_

_I'll be thinking about you_

“What was it you wanted to say?” Armin mumbles weakly, bruised and bloodied from Eren’s assault after their confrontation after the findings of Zeke’s spinal fluid being passed around.

With an empty stare and heart, the brunette glances back.

“You said you were free. Who’s a real slave to a piece of shit?” the blonde spat, blue orbs of swollen eyes glaring as Mikasa stifles her cries.

Eren grits his teeth, Armin’s words reaching him more than he would have liked.

“Who are you calling a slave?” he growls, sharply turning away sending his followers to arrest his childhood friends.

Little by little, as time passed that year, Eren was losing pieces of himself. No one would understand him. No one but Zeke would understand the weight.

_Why do I feel heavier?_

He needed to set this world straight. This war between Marley and Eldia must be stopped, he’s killed the innocent and civilians for this. While it was necessary for the advancing of their plans, all he could feel were (Name)’s tears soaking through his shirt and neck, asking him the same question again and again and again.

_Why did my father have to die? What was wrong with selling bread on the streets?_

“Mister Jaeger!” a cadet calls out as the brunette titan shifter briskly walked out of the building, feet briskly bringing him to one place.

He remembered swearing to her that he’d kill them all, for his mother, her father, the innocent, peace, and her.

Why did he only remember now?

She was always top priority, the pillar that made him push on but he was losing himself to the monster inside him. Why was he losing sight of himself but never her?

He needed her. He needed her to remind him who he really was. Despite her lack of understanding of his mission and fate, she made him feel—him.

 

_We bleed ourselves in vain_

_How tragic is this game?_

“Sorry, Mister, but she doesn’t live here anymore,” the man informed the irritated brunette politely. He let a breath through his nose.

“Where is she now?”

The older man leaned against the doorway and scratched his whiskered cheek, “Well, she did say that her fiancé bought themselves a place just up near the gate to Sina since they’re getting married in a few weeks.”

He felt a prick in his heart.

Eren couldn’t-

 

 

_fiancé?_

Emerald hues growing a tad, he felt his palms grow clammy while he felt the cold trickle painstakingly through his veins.

“Yes, fine young couple they are! Even baked me some bread as a welcome here,” the man smiled at the memory. He sighs, then looks up to the younger man in front of him, his brows furrowing in concern and confusion at the lack of response and emotion.

“Mister?”

In that moment, Eren felt his knees nearly give way, chest beginning to constrict the delicate organ pumping beneath—beating for her.

He knew it.

_We were never meant to be._

“Mister, if you could tell me your name, I could let her know. I usually get my baguettes from their bakery and I can- hey! Mister?”

_their?_

Eren walked briskly and with greater energy than he should just to keep his knees from unbuckling.

_This should be good. She will be happy, she will get the life she deserves._

He repeated to himself again and again, trying to keep the constriction in his ribcage from puncturing his heart.

_Turn around, I'm holding on to someone_

_But the love is gone_

Eren did not trust this woman, Pieck as he led her to the roof, his followers behind him, fingers on the trigger.

“Eren, its far too dangerous to trust this woman,” Yelena mumbled lowly.

With narrow forest eyes, he watched the woman in question as she stepped forward with Gabi in hand, “Yeah.”

His senses were on alert, yet his face remained passive. Years on this mission conditioned him into a cold being unlike what he originally was.

The loss of himself, he partially blamed it on (Name) and her absence in his life.

“Show us,” Eren commanded, distancing himself from her, “Show us where the enemies are.”

He punctures his finger behind his back, as sparks begin to flicker beneath them.

_This is it (Name), the world is changing._

Pieck whips around, pointing her finger towards him as the ground beneath him rumbles, he glares at her, his jaw clenching before his eyes widens in surprise.

The stones beneath him comes lose as they fall through an open hole—a hole into the Jaw Titan’s mouth. As he attempts to jump away, excruciating pain shoots up his body as his legs get bitten off while the Jaw Titan leaps upwards. Emerald clashed with gold in a death glare, and the brunette grits his teeth, activating his Titan.

And just like any other situation, despite the judgments of people on the actions they deem selfish, he thought about her and only her.

Memories vividly run through his mind.

The smiles she beamed when greeting him at their usual meeting place.

The bread she brought, her fidgeting when he tried her experimental baking.

The blush she wore when he stared too long.

The angry scolding and arguments at his temper and recklessness.

The quiet between them when there was not much to be said.

How hard it was to leave her for her sake and Paradis.

The scent of her hair when he kissed her temple the first and only last time.

Eren grits his teeth, letting out a deafening growl as his body draws lightning while his body morphed into something much bigger and stronger.

How he had wished he kissed her lips despite knowing that they couldn’t be together.

How he missed her in his lonely nights in Marley.

How he lost himself and searched for her.

The man when he told him she was getting married.

The invitation and personal letter he received a week later.

The familiar handwriting and expressions of joy.

The audible pulse and clenching of his heart in his ears.

Eren looks up with gritted teeth, witnessing enemy zeppelins approaching the castle in which he stood. He knew Reiner was in there and his blood began to boil.

_I’ll make sure you’ll live peacefully (Name)._

He clenches his fists and lets out another roar.

_For you and your new life._

_‘Cause it was almost love._

_It was almost._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I word vomitted. 
> 
> I'm not super satisfied but I tried. I need to get back into writingg.
> 
> Please let me know if you have ideas or prompts ♥


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